10 Easy-To-Achieve Resolutions for 2008

1. Use only unleaded gasoline.

2. Remember where I put my car keys.

3. Keep my fingernails, toenails, and nose hair neatly trimmed.

4. Brush my teeth. Every day.

5. Take Saturday afternoon naps.

6. Figure out this whole Inter-Web thingie.

7. Feed the cat when she's hungry.

8. Laugh at Viagra ads.

9. Learn how to type letters other than a, d, g, j, m, p, t, and w on my cell phone. Consistently.

10. Come up with better resolutions for next year.

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